That Demon In My Head

I finally decided that, at some point, maybe this year, maybe based on these blog posts, I'm going to have a crack at writing a book.  Definitely.  That's as far as I've got, but decision made, so it's got to get done now.  To the few who have suggested it, you're class, thank you.  Anyway, here's the very early first thoughts of how it might start...

That Demon In My Head

Prologue

I hear they say that everyone has a book in them.  Or is it a novel?  Well, assuming that they, whoever they are, don't mean it literally, here is my crack of the whip.  I suppose this has been a thought in process for quite a while, initially as a sort of distant faint idea of something to do, which has progressively taken shape, partly thanks to my job, partly thanks to just growing up (a bit) and largely thanks to some of the champions I know.  More about them later.

Well this is shit.  As if there's actually any point in writing a book.  You'll start it and never finish it.  It'll fester on the laptop.  Give up.  You'll forget about it until the laptop has been relegated to the bottom of a wardrobe probably.  This is a flavour of the month and nothing more.  Your writing and brain ain't as good as you make it out to be anyway, this is pointless.  Give up.  Go and make a brew instead.  You're wasting your time.  You're a waste of time.

Shut up.

That's him, that demon in my head.  No need for that kind of banter.  I'm pretty well practised and accomplished at ignoring him, pushing him down, telling him to shut up, but it's not straightforward.  It's not easy, because he's always there, however cracking I feel, however deep I bury him, however I cover him up, publicly put on a completely different act, all the tactics in the play book.  Personally, I go for gross overconfidence, semi-serious arrogance, acting daft, total belief and positive-ness (if that's a word).  I'd like to think I can control him almost all of the time.  But it's taken time and practice.

Have you got a demon in your head?  I reckon most people have, what varies is how strong the demon is, and how you deal with it, or how good you are at dealing with it.  And there it is, the point of this book.  Getting things sorted so it's you calling the shots and not the demon.  It can be done.  You can do it.

So here we go, sit tight, make a leap of faith, get ready to think, get ready to win, get ready to open your eyes, to face things down.  Get ready to believe.  Ready?  Head up then, mentally, physically, and let's crack on.

OK, that's it, that's the start.  Just got to write the rest of it now, suppose it's going to take a while.  Rats.  Either way, it's happening, so there's no point in dwelling on the downside or the negative.  In fact, now I've made the decision it means it's practically happened already.  I'm going to do it, I believe I'm going to do it, I want to do it, I might doubt myself at times but it's happening.  It's getting written.  I might struggle, I might need a hand now and then, I might not get it right first time.  But no matter how tough or how long it takes, I'm going to succeed.  All I've got to do is to do it.  So I may as well look forward, lift my head up and just crack on.