Outwardly, I'm pretty confident. Largely because I'm awesome. Inwardly, I question myself just as much the next person. Daily, I face an internal barrage of questions concerning whether I've done the best I can, would I do things differently, was I good enough, what if this, what if that...And so on. I'm pretty good at getting past the self-imposed interrogation though, through practice, belief, will power etc for the majority of the time. But this blog post isn't about the after-it's-happened scenarios, this is about the beforehand. The pre-match nerves. The anticipation. The butterflies in the belly, which feel more like tigers in the tummy. You see, I'm actually nervous about something. Not confident about something. Man, it's tough to even type that.
I used to want to be a rock star (OK, still do, it's just on hold for the time being.). I'm a reasonable guitarist; I've played in a fair few bands over the years. I love being on stage and performing, whether it's musically or as a pantomime villain. Unfortunately, however, I wasn't blessed with a singing voice, I mean I can carry a tune, but I'm very aware that I'm no Sinatra. Or even Sinitta. Or even Jedward....well, maybe not that bad, you get the idea though. So, singing is the time when I don't really feel like my usual up for it self. And tomorrow night I'm playing, and singing, at a charity concert I agreed to perform at.
You're probably thinking, "Yeah, you've done it before, you'll be fine," or, "Well why agree to do it if you're not happy doing it?" OK, yes I've done it before, yes I'll do it, yes I'll be fine. True. Fair point, although it doesn't help too much right now. And I'm doing it because I didn't want to let anyone down, and more so, I actually enjoy it. What??!! Yep, I enjoy it too.
So there's the next question, how can you be both nervous, less than confident, butterflies, tigers, about something, but also enjoy it. Well, you should have known by now that there would be a punchline in here somewhere, a bit of advice, or a pearl of thinking. So here it is. At the moment, yep, I'm completely nervous and basically I'm bricking it. I'll continue to feel this way right up to the first note which exits my gob tomorrow night, hopefully in tune. However, despite this, I know that the world ain't gonna end. It's going to happen. There is nothing, nothing, that is going to stop me playing tomorrow night. I'll get through it. Then I'll go home, have a brew, get up tomorrow, and whatever's next I'll get on with it, get past it, get over it. Fact.
So I'll be fine afterwards. Now what about these nerves now? Here's what I'm saying to myself. Firstly, I've practised, I've done it before, I'll do it again, and I'm ready for this time, this gig. As soon as that first note is sung, the whole thing will be happening and I'll be far too busy singing, playing and showing off to actually be nervous. And as I've already mentioned, afterwards, the nerves will be gone because it will have happened. Here's how I get past this type of situation; if the nerves aren't going to last, they're only a pre-curser, a before, and I know they'll disappear, and I know I'm ready, and I know I've got through this in the past then what's the point in being nervous now? No point. None. At the very least I'm not going to let these so-called nerves take grip of or control me.
You can't get rid of 'nerves,' but you can control them. They don't have to overwhelm you. Most of the time, they're just a gauge of how much you care about something. They never last longer than the run-up to whatever it is you're nervous about. They're not real physical things. They can't hurt you. They're just another little mental hurdle to hop over. Deal with them. Let the nerves out. Face them down. And before you know it, the gig, the exam, the interview whatever it is will be over anyway, so why waste too much time dwelling on the inevitable? Can you do it? Can I do it? Will I sing? Will life go on, whatever happens? Am I going to be awesome?
The answer is YES!
I've done it now. It went fine. OK, it went well, actually. And I'm still here, how about about that... What were those nerves all about eh?
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