It's Sunday morning, one coffee down the hatch already and I'm still resembling, and feeling, like I've been bitten by a zombie and I'm "on the turn." Not dead yet but not fit for public viewing. Additionally, with no blog posts since Tuesday, I think, I really need to step up and kick start the day (and my brain). So, what's the topic of the day? Well, I reckon it should be regarding my expectations of today, on an average, moderately grim-feeling, lazy, sofa-day Sunday. Expectations.
Know what? I can actually feel my 150 billion-odd brain nerve cells starting to fire up, this is canny. For the pedantic ones amongst you, I know there's probably nearer 100 billion neurons in the brain, but I'm pretty clever so I've bumped the number up a bit. Sorry, honestly, I can't help it. Anyways, onwards.
How often have you been replied to the question, "How are you doing," with a shrug and a nod? Perhaps you said, "Not bad." How about, "OK," or maybe even "Alright." Or any other type of middle-of-the-road, mediocre, average type response? I'll bet the answer is lots of times. It's certainly true for me. Or at least it was certainly true for me before I started thinking about expectations and basically about choosing my own mood to a certain extent.
A couple of things to accept first: sometimes you are 'just alright,' in the same way as sometimes you won't feel great at all, and sometimes things will be amazing, tip top, boss and awesome. Did you notice the little mental trick there - more emphasis on the positive? No coincidences here like... Therefore what we're really talking about today is the middle section, the average, unremarkable, standard day. Like this typical Sunday for me.
My expectations of today are that the day will pass, I'll write this blog, do some work, tidy the flat, maybe some shopping, possibly pop out for some eats or drinks at some point. And at some point I'll consider what sort of day it is, how I'm doing, maybe someone will ask me... But instead of saying, "Alright," I'll be answering, "Good, canny, spot on." How's that I hear you cry? How can such a standard, plain day be good? Easy really, I'm just going to choose to think about it from a slightly different angle. Shock.
I've accepted the fact that, probably, nothing out of this world, stand out, spectacular or ground breaking is going to happen today. Done. But that doesn't automatically mean that it has to be a 5 out of 10 mark for the day. The default, average day can easily be a 7 out of 10, or at the very least a 6. I like using marks out of 10 to judge and compare things, it keeps things in perspective. Feel free to try it. If things are OK, then is there any good reason why you can't just slightly adjust your own scale to make the 'alright' into 'good?' If nothing is actually wrong, can't the glass be half full instead of half empty? YES. By looking at things from a more positive angle, can't you just accept that average is, in fact, good? YES. You don't need to look for things that are wrong, nor do you need to jump all over the very first thing that doesn't go according to plan and drag down your day's mark out of 10 because of it. True story.
I'm feeling pretty awake and up for the day now. I'm not expecting the disastrous, nor am I expecting the incredible, breath-taking, awe-inspiring. But it's still going to be a good day.
Here's the challenge for you. Next time someone asks you how you are, how you're doing, how the day's been, if it does land in the 'typical day' category, then try answering with, "Good." Try answering with something more upbeat than, "Alright." You'll feel better. Before you know it, that scale will be adjusted so that the automatic response, both in your head and out loud, will be way more positive. You'll be choosing your own mood.
'Alright' really can be 'good,' you just have to choose!
Righto, that's enough for now, I've got stuff to sort that's not going to sort itself. Oh, one last thing, do me a favour, answer me this....
How are you?
On a similar note, I've been trying to change my default facial expression. The "blank" expressionless face when I'm in neutral looks way more grumpy and frowny than I usually feel even in neutral. I have been trying to cultivate a lighter expression to slip into out of habit.
ReplyDeletegood work! i reckon just thinking about it is more than half of the expression-battle won... also, yours was the debut comment on my blog, so thanks for that, it's made my day!
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