Hey Son, Use Your Brain.

I remember playing 5-a-side tournament when I was at school.  I was alright at 5-a-side without being spectacular, sort of a middle order batsman, decent, you know.  

So anyway, we were playing this match and my team got a free kick about a yard outside of the opposition area.  Here's a couple of rules to bear in mind.  You're not allowed to set foot in either penalty box in 5-a-side unless you're keen to concede a free kick or a penalty.  The opposing team has to retreat a few yards, unless the penalty box prevents them from retreating, in which case the defenders retreat as far as the keeper's area allows.  Basically I had a free kick, but had two people stood a yard away clearly blocking the direct route to goal.

My best bet, obviously, was to play across goal, try to work it around the defence, build play.  But I also thought what if I just blasted it as hard as possible?  One of the defenders might move their leg, lift a foot, or maybe I could even defy the laws of physics and manoeuvre the ball through unseen, even non-existent, gaps.

A bit more background for you.. In 5-a-side, a furry yellow ball is standard.  Furry makes it sound somewhat spongy, happy, jolly-good-show, but basically it's a full size football which happens to be yellow and covered with a material not too far away from velcro.  

Back to the game.  I elected to proceed with plan B.  Blast it.  I took a run up, executed a little skip half a yard away to adjust my timing for maximum 'hoof it,' and let rip.  Honestly, honestly, a perfect connection, up there with the cleanest strikes I'd ever mustered.  The yard to the defensive wall was eaten up in a split second in a yellow blur as I was still finishing an extravagant flourish of a follow through.  Have you worked it out yet?  Are you re-living the imminent glory with me?

The ball hit the nearest defender and rebounded on approximately a 70 degree angle, with the trajectory sending the ball, and it's new-found aggressive backspin directly into my face.  More specifically, directly into my eyeball.  The right one, just so you've got all the facts.  It hurt like a bastard and I couldn't open my eye for the rest of the game.  

Serves me right, aye.  Get it?  Ha ha.  OK, now for the (intended) pearl of wisdom I aim to include in all of my blogs.  If something is clearly a bad idea, if the chance of success is as good as zero, then don't do it!  I'm not saying don't take risks, I'm not saying always take the easy and safe option, I'm not.  Because that would be boring.  What I am saying is, always be aware of the cut off point.  Be aware, always, of when taking a risk becomes acting rashly.  I'm saying, "Hey son, use your brain."

Take it easy.